Dreaming…

I had an interesting dream last night, not about going to or being in prison, but rather listening to other people, people I knew, talking about it. They shared their experiences and feelings about being in jail. I observed and wandered through a large, hollow building, feeling lost and surprised by what I discovered inside. It seemed to symbolize aspects of myself and a sense of being trapped. 

In the dream, there was also a part where I was expected to perform a treatment on someone while others watched. I felt uncomfortable because I knew it wasn't a physical process but rather an energetic one. I couldn't easily explain it, and it made me feel uneasy. 

It's now 5:30am in the morning, and I'm waking, hearing the crows outside, I’m in Tasmania. The cold weather is a stark contrast to what I'm used to in Brisbane. Looking at the weather in Tasmania, it's even colder, with snowfall or near-snowfall. That's what's present in my world this morning. 

I'm reflecting on my body, particularly as I was diagnosed with early-onset rheumatoid arthritis last year. I know this diagnosis is a sociable explanation but I know the deeper origins of this come from emotional stagnation. It's something I regularly consider and delve into—exploring the causes and psychosomatic origins of the tightness and underlying fear that I've carried throughout my life. It's the rigidity that has developed as a result. I talk to myself, asking where I can let go and breathe into the spaces within my body. Give myself love and compassion and understanding.

Another recurring theme is the birthplace, the starting point of all this holding I've accumulated on my journey. In moments of stillness and observation, I'm unraveling and examining what I've carried along with me—whether it's routines, structures, or other aspects. The term "birthplace" keeps emerging, evoking a sense of the womb space, a floating, boundless expanse that holds significance for me. It brings about a deep sense of observation, clarity, and recognition of patterns in how I navigate through life at this moment. Everything is asking for deep observation, rearranging and curiosity. I wonder how I am going to manage this trip into the wet cold terrain and how my body will hold out and endure this journey. I am an feeling afraid but fearless and I know there is no going back only forward into the unknown.